A Letter to My Children

I stumbled upon a letter I wrote to both of you almost ten years ago. It reminded me of where we were then, and how far we’ve come. I’m sharing it now because I feel it’s time to revisit those words...

Hear me when I say this: I’ve been through a lot in my life, but not nearly as much as many others. Still, through everything, I have found love—deep, genuine love—because of you both. I fell in love in life, but I also fell in love with you. You are my greatest gifts.

But here’s the truth: I am still figuring myself out. There are days I feel lost, days I feel unhappy with how certain parts of my life turned out. I still don’t know what hobbies truly belong to me, what passions make me who I am as an individual. My world revolves around you now, and I wouldn’t change that. But because of that, my own life—my dreams, my identity—often sits on the sidelines. You two have always been more important.

Now that you’re old enough to love, to fall in love, and to be loved in return, I want to share this with you:

Invest in yourself.

Find yourself first. Learn who you are outside of anyone else. Discover the things that make you happy on your own. Love yourself fully, and find value in your individuality—your uniqueness. Be confident knowing you are worthy. You deserve to love and to be loved in return.

Learn equality. Learn communication. Know that your voice matters, and your opinions deserve to be heard. Never remain in any kind of abusive relationship—emotional, physical, or otherwise. You deserve better than pain disguised as love.

You will have your heart broken. You will cry. You may feel like the world is ending. Loneliness and uncertainty can be terrifying—I know. But remember this: you don’t have to walk through life alone. Build a support system of people who care about you. Family is one of those systems, but friends can offer a kind of understanding and comfort no one else can. Choose your friends wisely. Cherish the good ones. And don’t be afraid to let go of those who only show up in your sunshine but disappear during your storms. The same goes for family. Presence in your hard times matters.

When love finally comes knocking at your door—real love—you will be ready for it. And when that day comes, remember to keep investing in yourself. Even when you share your heart with a partner and build a family of your own, always keep a part of your love reserved for you. Because if your heart ever breaks, you will already have the strength, the tools, and the self-love to pick up the pieces, stand up, and face the world again. You will know how to return to yourself, to that inner happiness you created long before anyone else arrived.

I hope this all makes sense.

Mommy loves you both—always, endlessly.